Special Edition – How to be a blogger like Bob Lefsetz

Posted on by

Bob Lefsetz is an excellent source of insight, information, analysis and understanding about the world of rock & roll, entertainment, and even movies, books and television. He has parlayed that reputation into a lucrative career as a commentator, speaker, and featured guest at conventions and meetings around the world, who offer him money, free airplane tickets, and five star hotels. Good for him – he has earned it!

But over the last few years, Mr. Lefsetz has come to think of himself as an expert political pundit, pushing his liberal left coast Democratic talking points upon subscribers who never signed up for that. He forgot what he once told us:

“Being a politician is a profession. Michael Jordan proved that being the best basketball player of all time didn’t make him a world class baseball player.” – Bob Lefsetz

If you are interested in becoming a millionaire blogger like Bob Lefsetz, we have compiled a list of words and phrases he frequently uses that should help you achieve that same level of success.

His favorite newsletter opening is this classic:

“What kind of crazy, fucked-up world do we live in where…

He talks a lot about “wankers”:

“My policy is not to respond to wankers…”

“Why is it these wankers get paid attention?”

“unlike the entertainment wankers”

“vilified for pushing a moribund industry run by self-satisfied wankers into the present, never mind the future.”

“And everyone knows the wankers in Congress…”

“However, how come all music documentaries have to feature modern wankers testifying?”

“you’ve got wankers in Michigan and Oklahoma protesting”

“Unlike the wankers voting for the Grammys”

“the pols and the corporate wankers”

“unlike the entertainment wankers”

And he warns you:

“Don’t argue with me, you’re just gonna appear to be an old fogey.”

Other words and phrases he relies upon include “hoi polloi”:

“Don’t confuse this with the faux pas of the hoi polloi.”

“But don’t blame the protesters, the hoi polloi, the regular people.”

“and the fun is had by the hoi polloi.

“now come down from the media giants to the hoi polloi”

“there are a lot more members of the hoi polloi than there are richies.”

“no one believes anybody, and then the hoi polloi follow in their wake.”

“Forget the hoi polloi white nationalists”

He also likes to use the word “fungible” a lot:

“the joke is on them, they’re fungible.”

“And truth is fungible, facts blew away in the wind.”

“we live in a world where facts are fungible and no one can agree on the truth”

He worries a lot about someone “moving his cheese”:

“bitching that your cheese has been moved.”

“complaining ad infinitum that someone is moving their cheese.”

“the aged artists keep complaining that someone moved their cheese”

Here’s a great idea he proposed for ending the pandemic:

“how about arresting anybody who won’t wear a mask?”

What could go wrong with that? Another favorite phrase is “de rigueur”:

“They used to be de rigueur, but now they’re political

“In ass-kissing Hollywood it’s de rigueur”

“now it’s de rigueur”

And keep an eye out for the “great bifurcation”!

“Thus we have the great bifurcation”

“So, we might be seeing a great bifurcation.”

“Bloviators” are a serious concern for Bob Lefsetz:

“right wing bloviators”

“bloviation”

And he loves to drop “de minimis” in whenever he can:

“As for the de minimis numbers of old acts that once had record deals.”

“Frequently you can get it at your local pharmacy for a de minimis cost.”

“Don’t e-mail me about the de minimis numbers of vinyl”

Lefsetz keeps an industrial strength Thesaurus next to his laptop at all times:

“never mind the negative imprimatur of such a thing amongst the cognoscenti”

“there’s a cacophony of “news” sources”

“people put their dollars down for ducats?”

“that’s how the legal system works, stare decisis.”

“without a plethora of description”

“you want to satiate this small coterie”

“Some would say they were the progenitors”

And watch out for those evil Republican “apparatchiks”!

“with the support of his party apparatchiks”

“Trump didn’t fix the election before it took place, even though he and his party apparatchiks tried to”

Here are some more of his favorites:

“The Republicans believe in tropes like the bogey men”

“BECAUSE WE’RE PUSSIES!”

“you can build a whole career purely on your punim.”

“the chiaroscuro nature of our relationship”

“long before he hung with the glitterati”

“you could make beaucoup bucks with your hands”

“Maybe he just couldn’t resist hagiography”

“to the degree anybody is in today’s multifarious society”

“never mind the appellation”

“all of this jawing is from oldsters”

“sui generis”

“the story of the last five years in music has been its complete Balkanization.”

“your best way to survive is to hoover up all the small players”

“schadenfreude”

“you want to satiate this small coterie”

“the vapidity, the commerciality”

“we have individuals paying fealty to the cult”

“it’s the talent, the songs, the je ne sais quoi that puts something over the top.”

“This is the evolution of the internet…everything for free? Fuggetaboutit!”

“their prostates are too enlarged!”

And if you don’t like the progressive bilge that Bob Lefsetz puts forth several times a week on his “rock & roll entertainment industry” newsletter, that can only be because:

“I’ve gotten your hackles up, by speaking truth”

“Sure, a lot of the public is made up of nitwits.”

“don’t get your knickers in a twist, don’t bring out the politically correct police.”

“Sharon, you self-hating meeskite”

“They’re even standing up for the Republican dimwits”

And Lefsetz sums up all of America’s problems with these two sentences:

“It’s the tyranny of the ignorant, and the misinformed.”

“there’s a concomitant denigration of all alternatives.”

Now YOU know the secrets to being a wealthy blogger, a ski bum, and a tourist of museums and restaurants around the world. Start writing!